Top tips on how to co-parent after separation

We have prepared this guide to help you work together to prioritise your children’s needs post separation. However you decide to co-parent doesn’t have to be perfect, but whatever you decide needs to ensure your children’s needs are put first. These tips can help you create a child-centric co-parenting plan.

1. Try to keep routines fairly similar across both households. Whilst you may have different parenting styles, prioritising your children’s welfare so that things are consistent can help them adjust to this new normal.
2. Communicate with each other respectfully and clearly. Whilst you are no longer in a relationship, effective communication is the cornerstone of successful co-parenting. If communication is strained or difficult, think about whether a parenting communication app may help. There are a lot on the market, such as Our Family Wizard and AppClose to name but two.
3. Be flexible and willing to compromise. Remember that whatever you decide on may need to change sometimes as your children’s needs change. Even the best laid plans can sometimes go awry and family events and illnesses can crop up and mean that plans may need to change. Be open and flexible to this.
4. Keep the long-term perspective. What would you want your children to say about their parents’ separation in years to come. Co-parenting is not just about the here and now, and the children are going to need you both in years to come.
5. Try and present a united front on important issues, even if you may disagree privately. Don’t have those disagreements in front of the children. If you are struggling, think about utilising mediation to discuss issues that are a sticking point.
6. Co-parenting teenagers can sometimes bring added complications, teens need to feel heard and it’s important that they have the chance to talk about how they are feeling, and that their feelings are valid even if you may disagree. They are going to need their privacy and independence in exactly the same way as if their parents were still together.
7. Remember that the children love you both and encourage them to talk about how they feel, never talk negatively about the other parent in front of your children, your children won’t want to hear this.
8. Ensure that you liaise with each other over important issues such as school and health. When one parent feels isolated from decision making, this can lead to resentment. Think about the use of a parenting plan and consider the “what if” scenarios. 

At Stone King, we recognise that co-parenting children post separation can be a difficult issue to navigate. We have a team of dedicated professionals who can offer support and guidance, whatever stage of separation you are at. If you would like to find out more about how we can help, please get in touch with our team today.