7 ways to help children navigate transitions between homes

When parents separate, it can be a confusing and emotional time for children, especially as they adjust to living between two homes. This article provides a number of ways in which to help your children effectively navigate the transition between households. While they will naturally want to spend time with both parents, it is important to remember that this arrangement is new and unfamiliar to them. The more you can do to support and guide them through the process, the easier it will be for them to adjust.

We understand that children can feel anxious about remembering important things – like their school kit or which house they’re staying at each week. These tips are designed to help make the transition between homes smoother and more manageable for them: 

1. Consider having a calendar at both homes with the days that they are at each home marked. Younger children may appreciate the use of different colours to signify each parent’s home.
2. Try, where possible, to keep daily routines consistent such as bedtimes etc. Don’t assume that the other parent knows what they are, so make sure you discuss beforehand what routines you feel are important are maintained.
3. Consider getting your child involved in choosing how they want to decorate their bedroom or ask them if they would like to choose items for their bedroom.
4. Make handovers smooth and positive, by keeping the goodbyes short and sweet. Focus on the fun or comforting things ahead. If handovers are tricky, think about whether pick up and return via school may be better.
5. Allow time for adjustment when moving between homes. You are all getting used to the new normal.
6. Avoid overpacking – keeping essential items at both homes can help reduce stress and confusion. While it’s important for your child to have familiar comfort items, try to keep things simple. Older children may worry about having everything they need for school, so providing them with a checklist can be a useful way to ease those concerns. If they forget something they need, let them know that is ok and do all you can, if distance allows, to facilitate them getting it.
7. Validate your child’s feelings – if they are sad or anxious, acknowledge this and tell them that it is ok to miss the other parent. Provide reassurance that they will see the other parent again soon.

If your children are finding things tricky, hearing your child’s voice through the use of child inclusive mediation can be helpful, as can mediation to discuss a co-parenting routine. At Stone King, we are committed to working with our clients to minimise conflict, and preserve family relationships wherever possible. If you would like to discuss your circumstances with one of our team, please get in touch today.