If you both mean it, try to talk and communicate to the children together as parents, not as individuals. Start your sentences with “We”:
- We both love you very much
- Just because we cannot live together, does not mean that we cannot work for you together as parents always
- We want you to know it is not your fault
- We cannot live together, it is a grown up problem (do not go into the whys and wherefores)
- We are sorry it has not been easy, we are working hard to make it better
- We will always be your mum and dad and we will both continue to be part of your life.
Keep it simple and plan how you will talk to the children together.
Let the children know you understand this will be a difficult change for them and that they will probably have many different feelings as a result. Tell them it is OK to question or talk to either of you, or both of you together.
At the same time improve your communication as parents
It is not complicated:
- Be polite and respectful
- Get your body language right
- Get your tone right
- Get your words right
- Get the environment for discussion right
Keep it simple. Think before you communicate and do not communicate in anger.